So that means that when I am completely incapable of paying attention to homework and I have stuff that's really getting to me, I will be writing journal entries or something.

So, I think I'm falling into a rut of depression right now. Over the summer my depression was brought on by the Kingdom Hearts II video game, now it's being brought on by the book "New Moon" by Stephanie Meyer. I hate it that the things I so dearly love are the things that hurt me the most. I hope this time I don't progress to what I was last time: random fits of almost continuous crying hours. School isn't doing anything to help me, it's not even keeping my mind preoccupied, so I'm not catching anything the teachers say today at all.

I feel so lonely lately. Sadly enough I'm feeling the need to be loved. I've gone two years already without being in a relationship and I've been perfectly fine about it, I relished in the fact that I didn't NEED someone to complete me. But this book has reminded me just how great sometimes it is to be in love, and it has turned me back into a lovesick puppydog; a hopeless romantic. I hurts to know that I'll probably not find anybody up here I like enough. This town is full of stupid, annoying, lame-ass guys.

It feels weird typing all this stuff. Pouring my heart out for all who happen to wander by to see. It's a bit disconcerting actually. But I don't really get to speak my feelings. There are some friends that I would trust with these things, but I'd feeling completely stupid and whiny, plus there's just never a right time to speak of things like these when I'm around.

So, on a lighter note. October 21st Helmi, Kyle, and myself are going to hopefully be seeing Flogging Molly in concert, of all the strangest places, up in this little nowhere town. We're gonna go buy our tickets this weekend. I'm excited. I've never actually been to a "real" concert. I hope I can learn to loosen up and not be a complete mood killer like I usually am when not listening to music indirectly.

School is being a drag so far. I don't think it'll get much better. There's some new people, but nobody worth liking. The homework load for me this year is appalling. I've already started rolling downhill and I need to figure out how to stop and start climbing up again. I'll have to only work during the weekends now, which means about $100 less for each paycheck-_- Quite a bit has seemed to change this year with the whole friends/group situation. I'm learning a lot of new things that I didn't know before. Like who dislikes who now that used to be friends last year and that our big group has split into like three smaller groups and I'm glad to find that I actually fit in with one of them now. Before it was just like I was standing on the sidelines constantly, I couldn't relate to enough people. I think I enjoy this smaller group, it makes it easier in some ways.

Well, I believe this is long enough now. I have resurrected my deviantart journal because I can't reach livejournal because of the blocking system. I wish I could resurrect my gallery, but I have yet to produce anything i deem deviantart.com worthy. So I shall be back again. Good-bye.